In today's episode, two pseudoscientists tell you how to live, and it all starts with woke butter and homeschooling. We talk about alternatives to dairy milk and how non-diary stuff has gotten so much better than what was available only a few years ago. We consider whether milk leaches calcium from your bones and whether you ought to eat fruit before noon. We discuss kitchen gadgetry, ice cream vs gelato, the school to prison pipeline, the rights of nature (finally!!), colors of the day, and a fabulous book recommendation at the end. Thanks for listening, do as we say, wash your hands, don't be dick.